Is motherhood a real job?

The following was sent to me (and others) by Laurisa White Reyes, the smart, talented and gracious author of the Right Idea, and is here with her permission. She writes, "My articles are written with the hopes that the messages they bear will reach as many people as possible. Blog on!"

IS MOTHERHOOD A REAL JOB?

by Laurisa White Reyes

On Wednesday October 20th Theresa Heinz Kerry, wife of Presidential candidate John Kerry, managed once again to put her foot squarely in her mouth. In commenting on first lady Laura Bush, she said, “I don’t know if she’s ever had a real job.” Despite her pitiful attempt at an apology in which she referred to Mrs. Bush’s experience as schoolteacher and librarian before her marriage to George W Bush., Kerry’s comment reveals the mindset of the $500 million heiress to the Heinz fortune that full-time motherhood is an inferior position.

A real job…

The term brings a smirk to my lips. Real jobs are what some would call what I did before I married my husband, when I answered telephones and filed paperwork for medical offices, sold women’s clothing, and filled styrofoam cups with frozen yogurt. Yep, those were real jobs, jobs that handed me a paycheck on a consistent basis with a dollar amount printed on it by which I could determine if I was working hard enough and long enough.

I remember the day clearly when I decided that I didn’t want a real job anymore. I was lying on the sofa in my supervisor’s office trying not to vomit all over my dry clean only suit. Two months pregnant, I had spent most of that week staring at my computer screen and munching on saltine crackers.

I announced to my supervisor that I was going to quit. I had just been given a promotion, a substantial pay raise, and health insurance coverage the week before, so this was probably not what she was expecting to hear, but I will never forget what she told me.

“I wish I could have stayed home to raise my kids.”

Eleven years and four kids later, I can honestly say I’ve never looked back. Sure, there are days when I wonder what could possibly have possessed me to give up an ordered, scheduled life for chaos, but it only takes an unexpected kiss from my seven year old, or a “Mommy, you’re my best friend” from my three year old to bring me back into focus.

Are there times when I pine over the fact that my college diploma is gathering dust in a box only who knows where? Sure. Sometimes I even envy the fact that when things get really hairy around here my husband can find refuge by going to the office, because, of course, he has a real job. The only place to which I can retreat is the bathroom, and even then I still endure the sounds of little fists pounding on the door and pleas of “Let me in! Let me in!”

I suppose Theresa Kerry is right. There are some things you really can’t put on a resume, things like eating the crusts from countless peanut butter sandwiches, picking chewing gum out of the carpet – or a child’s hair, scrubbing crayon off the walls because your son has finally learned to spell his name and is over enthusiastic about it, consoling a child over the death of a ten cent goldfish, wearing mismatched socks because your daughter helped fold the laundry and you don’t want to hurt her feelings, getting kids to eat their veggies by finding clever ways to disguise them as other foods, enfolding your arms around a baby that has just taken her first steps, or rocking her to sleep in the middle of the day just because you want to.

No, motherhood isn’t a real job. In fact, it’s not a job at all. It is far, far more than that. And believe me, if it were a job, no amount of money would be enough to compensate me for what I do. Being with my kids every day is reward enough for me.

I hope you can see now why she's become one of my favorite conservatives. She's so dead on target! As a father, I go through the exact same feelings. Had I not chosen to become a father, there's so much I could have had or done, but my kids remind me each and every day that I have made the right choice. It's difficult and challenging sometimes - quite a bit of the time with our three-year-old, in fact - but I wouldn't give fatherhood up for anything in this world.

But mothers really deserve the most praise. It almost goes beyond words to find a way to express what they mean to us. Words so often seem so insufficient. I don't know where I would be now without my mother and I don't know what direction my kids would be going without my wife. Mothers are just plain wonderous and it's unfortunate that society doesn't realize this more. God bless them all!