Bizarre answering machine message

A woman erroneously called our phone number tonight and our Callwave Internet Answering Machine recorded her message. Here's the transcript, which admittedly doesn't do the bizarreness of the message justice:

Yeah, I want to talk to somebody here. And they'd better get on the phone if they're there. Because I got a phone on my butt and they want to shut my phone off and it ain't gonna happen in here. And who I know in here that's gotta a [unintelligible] towards me, I'm gonna get a attorney on their butt and I lose my phone, they're gonna lose theirs and I'll make sure of it. And I'll swear up in front that they'll lose their phone. I don't monkey around. This one they're monkeying with the wrong lady this time. So... You listen, you answering machine. Cuz this time, [unintelligible] pay for this one. So help me God on it. So, BYE-BYE!

She's got a phone on her butt? What the heck???